… when God decides

… and he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything.  Rather he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.
Acts 17:25

I have written often about my reluctance to allow God the control I know He already has over my life.  I think it is something we all struggle with; the unknown.  Corrie Ten Boom said … “Never trust an unknown future to a known God.”  I find myself clinging to these words and claiming them day after day.  As someone who demands complete control of her life and everyone else’s around her I find myself a complete wreck most days talking myself off the ledge when things don’t go the way I think they should.  When God trusted me with Elizabeth I can tell you I certainly thought He had lost His ever loving mind.  I remember sitting at the end of her tiny bed asking God, “Do you remember me?”  You created me, you know me, what are you doing giving me this child?

If you follow the blog then you know that I have a brother that was tragically killed in a car accident 23 years ago.  He lived for weeks in a coma which I have come to describe as God’s grand design.  This was no accident that God did not take AC immediately Home that Sunday morning of the crash.  Life and death are in the Hands of God and only He decides when it is our time.  For weeks I would sit next to my brother watching for any sign of life that we were praying for.  I called out to God that He could heal AC if he wanted to.  I believe in miracles, I believe that God can take the sickest of the sick and make them well.  I believe that God can intervene at any time and change the course of ones life.  With that belief I would cry out minute by minute and hour by hour for God to heal AC, for God to make him whole again and give him back his incredibly young and vibrant life that he so passionately lived in the name of our Father.  Our entire community was doing the very thing I was.  The multitude of prayers that were offered up in AC’s name were abundant.  The hospital waiting room and Chapel were always a steady stream of family and friends and even strangers who had heard his story.  Grown men were taken to their knees in prayer and non-believers were accepting Christ as their Savior all because a young mans body laid upstairs in ICU fighting for his life.  I let myself become really angry at the fact that so many people had prayed for healing, prayed that God would intervene and save AC and He didn’t.  It took a long time for me to understand that in the end God had indeed answered all of our prayers, just not the way we had selfishly prayed.  We asked for healing, God answered that.  We asked that God would save AC, He answered that.  We asked that God would help him, restore him, take away any fear he might have had and He answered each and everyone of those requests.  There might be some sitting back and asking themselves how in the world did God answer each and every request by allowing him to die well let me tell you.  AC was saved from a life that from a medical perspective would have been a life he would have never wanted to live or put his family through.  His earthly body that was so badly damaged from the accident was restored as he walked side by side with the Lord late one night when God said okay you’re ready.

Only God wills if we live another minute

My hometown recently endured a tragic accident involving a former classmate and childhood friend of mine.  She was a good, good person.  She is being remembered as one of the kindest people everyone encountered and was so incredibly selfless.  She was a Believer, a woman of God and an example to others living a life in the Word.  I have not seen her in years, but thanks to social media our lives continued to stay in touch.  She was always the first with a kind or encouraging word in response to a post and I will always remember her being the first to like any picture I would post of our sweet labs.  Her death has come with a great deal of publicity, both on a local and national level due to the events surrounding her 911 call.  The media has made a very private life into a public circus and the community has been more than willing to share their opinions of that mornings tragedy and what most are saying avoidable events.  This is not my story to tell, it is not my place to stand in judgement of anyone involved.  I have really had to bite my tongue and walk away from this social nightmare her family must be enduring at this time.  As most of you know my husband is a Firefighter so we have discussed in length the 911 call itself and the work of our First Responders that morning.  I have asked a thousand questions and thrown out every single “what if this had been done differently” scenario.  I want to say this, I have watched the body cam video and listened to the chatter between dispatch and First Responders and believe that without a doubt our men and women in the field did everything they could given the information they were being fed.   I watched a Police Officer put on a life vest and hit the water when he could have easily stayed on dry land once the rescue team and boat arrived.  Our Firefighters and Paramedics did what they do by putting their own lives in danger to save the life of another.  They are truly at the mercy of what they are being told by dispatch and when I continue to hear people say they just didn’t do enough I want those people to be aware of how much is based on the transmission between someone in a dispatch office and a radio they wear on their bunker gear.  What I do believe, along with most everyone else in our community is that the 911 call between our friend and dispatch was the real problem here.  It was heartbreaking, it was painful and we have all been deeply impacted that she lived her last moments without the love she so greatly deserved based on how she had given so much love to those who filled her life.

I knew I would never be able to explain how I felt in a short post or response on social media but I did want to be able to share my experiences of a very untimely and unfair death that while even today I still have questions that have gone unanswered and ones that I may never know the answer to.  But there is one thing that I do know and that is there is no such thing as chance with God.  In the last minutes of a life that we are asking others to be held accountable for we are forgetting everything that happened in those early morning hours were already planned.  It was not by chance that the rain fell hard the night before, that a different route was taken or that this particular dispatch officer answered the 911 call.  God uses us for His work and we as believers know this.  In our judgement we are forgetting that God governs all things and what we aren’t realizing is that prayers were answered that morning.  Faith was desperately clung to so much that a stranger, someone who had already proven to be so incredibly less than compassionate was asked to join in prayer.  There are now hundreds upon thousands of people who have heard someone turn to God in her darkest hour, people who could be forever changed by that one prayer.  That is her amazing testimony and what she should be remembered by.

Years later when I finally came to realize that my prayers had indeed been answered and AC was right where he wanted to be, which was Home I had to understand that his work here on earth had been completed.  And when I finally realized why Elizabeth’s life had been spared I knew it really had nothing to do with me and my thinking at the time that I had won with my control of the situation.  It was because God was not finished with her yet.  He still had a great deal of work left, people who needed her to come to know Jesus.  So for you and I that are still here, well that is based on a plan that was decided a long time ago in Eternity for us and to those that have been called on …. Welcome Home friends.

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