… the nanny chronicles

Long before Josh and I divorced we struggled with finding the perfect nanny.  Interviews, for the most part always went great but I don’t think these girls fully understood what it was like to take care of Elizabeth and 2 younger ones as well.  Some would last a week, a month … we even had a few that made it through an entire summer!!  There were a select few who I truly liked and left for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with the job but moving on with their own life after graduating school.

I am not an easy person to work for, let me say that right upfront.  Taking care of Elizabeth comes with great responsibility and it became very important to me that her caretaker be the very best.  There is a schedule to adhere to, a great deal of one on one with Elizabeth and you must feel comfortable around Elizabeth and if you are not she will know.  Trust me … she will know.  I want Elizabeth to be included in the daily activities and be a part of what her siblings are doing as well.  For the most part this is an easy task!  In fact I would often tell the potential nanny’s that Elizabeth would be their easy one, it’s the other three you have to watch out for!

So one by one they would come and go, some by their choice and others by ours.  The frustration grew with each new nanny.  It took time to train, time neither one of us really had.  Nathan was old enough to help show someone the ropes but soon Nathan would be reporting that he was doing most of the work with Elizabeth while the nanny sat around and played on her phone.  It was hard for me to confront the girls for fear of losing yet another nanny.  I also felt if I became friends with them and welcomed them into our family it would help smooth the difficulty that came with the job.  Let me stop here and say this to those who are considering bringing a nanny into your home …. consider this wisely.  Your nanny is probably going to spend more time with your children than you will.  Soon you will find yourself asking her to stay for dinner, travel with you on family vacations.  You confide in her, trust her and before long you begin to love her as your own.  You will know if you have let her become to close, there are signs.  You will try to convince yourself you are wrong but from one mom and wife to another trust your instincts.

My nanny drama became the subject of conversation everywhere I went.  At work, dinner with the family, a night out with the girls …. we would laugh about it mostly but there was a time that the hurt from pure betrayal was overwhelming.  The events following were the hardest lessons of life I would ever learn from.  It would take years to recover from and I wondered if I would ever forgive, ever trust again.  My answer was not just no but an absolute hell no.  The act of one single person affected everyone that would come into my life and even those that were already there.  I trusted no one, especially the handful of nanny’s that I would go through over the next year.

Time, time, time … time heals all wounds, this would prove to be true.  Some took a little more time than others and even today the healing still continues.  I believe that all things come together in God’s timing and not our own, no matter how hard we try to control our own lives.  Again a lesson of patience that I so strongly fought against, persevered through and emerged so incredibly grateful for the blessing of one amazing young lady who has restored my trust in others and who without we would not be a family.

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